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House with no name
When I say "name" I'm really referring to the house numbers. In this case, the lack of. The title "house with no numbers" just didn't sound very witty. I had a tree delivery (actually several small trees and a few plants) one afternoon, several weeks after I had started working at The Garden Centre. A routine delivery, or so I thought. I read the invoice "13676 Hawk Drive." The street name of the delivery was familiar to me, as I once had a good friend live there. So there was no need to check my map for directions. The house number was a typical 5 digits long. No problem there. The last number was even, which I knew this meant the house was on the north or west side of the street.(This odd/even setup is consistant in the majority of suburban towns/cities I deliver.) Hawk Drive was an East to West street, so I'll be checking house numbers on the north side only. Numbers decrease heading eastward and northbound so I'll be seeing them decrease in this case. The numbers are going down by six each house, as I reach 13700 I slow down, trying to read the house numbers... 13694... 88... 82... should be the next one... where's...the... *@!#$&# house numbers? I continue on to the following house, the number proclaims "13670!" Bugger!!! Oh well, I guess I'll bang on the door of the unnumbered residence. After a couple of minutes of doorbells and doorknocking, it was obvious nobody was home. Double bugger!! But what's this... a UPS package left on the doorstep? The name and address on the package match my delivery invoice. Woohoo! Time to back up the truck and unload. As I start pulling off plantlife of various size, a middle aged man comes over to me. "That for 13676?" he asks. "Yeah, your Mr Foster?" I inquire. "I am" he replies."But you are at the wrong house, I'm three doors further down." "Huh? This house is between 13682 and 13670, how can 13676 be three houses down?" I ask, waiting for an explanation to this numerical, sequencial faux pas. "It's been like this for years, somehow the city messed up house numbers when they built the street" he explained. "Anybody tell this guy to put up a house number to avoid further confusion?"I ask. "I guess he can't be bothered" he replies."He gets my mail sometimes, if the mailman is new.Then I just go and pick it up." I reload the truck and drive down to Mr Foster's house three doors further down. Between houses 13664 and 13652, lo and behold I see hanging from the ornamental lamp post, the numbers "13676!!" I unload the trees and plants. Upon leaving, I suggest in future, should he order from us again, he be sure to clarify his houses whereabouts. "By the way, Mr foster." I call back, as I'm about to get into the truck. "There's a UPS package for you on your neighbours doorstep."
About a month later, Mr Foster ordered 5 yards of Black dyed mulch. It's a shame he didn't clarify his houses whereabouts... as one of the other drivers dumped the load at the "house with no name."
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